The Power of Vulnerability
13 Jan 2011 No Comments
in • Inspiration, • Life, • psychology, • Self Tags: communication, love, • Life, • psychology, • Self
Vulnerability is a very interesting word and a very fascinating subject to explore. What does it mean to be vulnerable? When is one vulnerable? Most importantly, why one would choose to be vulnerable? I was inspired by Brene Brown’s research and decided to share few things from her research with you.
Before defining what vulnerability is it is important to talk about connection and sense of worthiness. Connection, in simple words, is a reason why we are here; it gives purpose and meaning to our life. Together with connection goes shame – fear of disconnection, feeling not worthy of connection.
Those, who feel worthy of love and belonging have:
- courage (def. tell the story who you are with your whole heart) to be imperfect,
- compassion for themselves and others (being kind and accepting for being imperfect),
- connection, as a result of authenticity. This means that you are letting go who you think you should be in order to be who you are,
AND
- vulnerability which means willingness to say “I love you” first and to do something where there are no guarantees.
What strikes me is that vulnerability is fundamental in order to feel worthy. We cannot selectively numb unpleasant emotions without numbing other feelings. If we numb, we numb everything and we fall into a trap when we look for meaning and purpose of life without allowing ourselves fully embrace experiences. That doesn’t lead to any good place but to a place with more questions and more miserable moments…
We are wired to make uncertain CERTAIN, to PERFECT and be perfect, and to PRETEND that what we do doesn’t affect/impact other people. We do everything to avoid being vulnerable and define things whenever something even slightly uncertain comes our way. It might work short term. It makes us miserable long term.
I like what Brene Brown in her TED talk on vulnerability said “vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it appears that it is also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love.” This is what I wish you, be vulnerable, enjoy being vulnerable and notice how much lighter and happier life becomes once you realize that -
you are imperfect, and you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging ~
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